Revenue grew 4%, and all of it came from one customer. Everyone else shrank 2%. Sign two new accounts before the next board meeting.
Your AI tells you you're right. George tells you when you're wrong, and why.
Example, fictional figures.
Page 3 of 10
Agenda, monthly board meeting
Every month, on a fixed date, George sits your board meeting.
1.
He reads your month.
Revenue and what moved it: new, expansion, churn. Pipeline, retention by cohort, cash and runway, what your team shipped.
All of it. Not the highlight reel.
2.
He grades last month's promises.
One by one: kept, partly, open, dropped or broken.
You said it. I wrote it down.
3.
He asks three or four sharp questions.
The ones the numbers can't answer.
Why did that deal really slip?
4.
He names the one risk you're not looking at.
The one nobody put on the slide.
There's always one.
5.
He writes the review.
His verdict, a one-line reading of the month, his #1 advice, and the promises for next month.
Signed, George.
Page 4 of 10
Exhibit B, what George reads
The more you give George, the better the roast.
George reads what you connect, every month, before he says a word. Connect one source and he reviews it. Connect them all and he sees what you don't.
Billing
Stripe
Revenue, new, expansion, churn. Who pays, and how much.
Bank
Qonto
Cash, burn and runway. The number your slide rounds up.
Code
GitHub
What actually shipped, and how fast.
Pipeline
Your CRM
Every deal, its stage, and whether it moved.
Inbox
Gmail
The promises you made to customers, kept or not.
Team chat
Slack
The incidents nobody put in the update.
And you
Your answers
Three or four questions the numbers can't answer. Your answers count too.
Skip one and I'll ask about it.
Read only. George never writes to your tools.
Page 5 of 10
The verdict ladder
Five verdicts. He picks one every month.
Hard pass
This isn't a business yet. Here's what's missing.
Pass
Something's working. Not enough of it.
Watching
Real signal. Show me it holds.
Invest
It's working. Now do it on purpose.
Preempt
I'd write the check before anyone else does.
Not yet▶ Take my money
Page 6 of 10
Exhibit C, from a founder
A real founder. A real review.
Antoine, co-founder and CEO, Nova
"Every month, George roasts us. That's how we took Nova to a multi-million dollar company."
Real review, amounts removed
George · Austin. Review of September 2026.
The engine works.
George's real review of Nova, September 2026
Invest
MRR
+26.8% in the month, against a 20% target
Logo retention
100%, nobody left
Gross margin
about 97%
Price floor
×2.7 for new subscriptions
His reading
"Twenty-seven percent in a month, nobody left, and the price went up. Now feed it agencies on purpose."
His first advice
Put five agency conversations a week on the founders' calendars, and count them. The product converts agencies; only your hours are missing. And give every deal a date before you give it a bigger number.
Book a demo→Your review looks like this. With your numbers.
Page 7 of 10
Term sheet, draft
Pitch George. Three questions. No sugar.
Go on. I'm listening.
Page 8 of 10
House rules
George's rules.
1.
"I never invent a number. If it's in the review, it came from you."
G.
2.
"When your data and your story disagree, I say so. Out loud."
G.
3.
"No padding. If one sentence will do, you get one sentence."
G.
4.
"I keep the final word on my verdict. You keep the final word on your company."
G.
Page 9 of 10
Questions from the floor
FAQ.
Q: Is George a real person?+
George:No. I'm an AI, built to disagree with you. The hat is real enough.
Q: What does he read?+
George:Whatever you connect: billing, bank, code, pipeline, inbox, team chat. Read only. The more you connect, the better the roast.
Q: How often?+
George:Every month, on a fixed date. Like a board meeting that actually shows up.
Q: Will he be mean?+
George:Honest, never cruel. I roast the business, not the founder.
Q: How much?+
George:Book a demo. We'll talk numbers. Yours first.
